The key features of Social Exchange Theory
- Social Exchange Theory (SET) is what might be termed one of the ‘economic’ theories of romantic relationships as it draws from the language of banking, investment and finance in the way that it conceptualises the functioning of relationships
- SET was proposed by Thibault & Kelley (1959) as a way of explaining how people view the costs and benefits of their current relationship
- SET operates along the minimax principle, the idea that people in relationships will aim to minimise their losses and maximise their profits as would a business (profits equals rewards minus costs)
- Rewards, costs and losses are entirely subjective and will depend on each individual e.g. Betty enjoys feeling rewarded when her cooking is praised but Bertie does not consider this to be important so Betty’s delicious lasagne goes unrecognised and without praise
- All relationships require each partner to be rewarded and to gain from the profit if the relationship is to survive so each couple needs to negotiate the terms of this exchange either directly or via experience and learning e.g. Bertie learns that he should always say something nice about Betty’s cooking
- All relationships will require certain sacrifices which offset the rewards (and in the long run may contribute to building a more rewarding relationship) e.g. foregoing nights out at the pub for a quiet night in; living in a town instead of the countryside; putting up with each other’s family; taking a job with a lower salary but which means more personal time to spend as a couple
- Costs can, however, de-stabilise a relationship if they lead to arguments, conflict, resentment etc. so a fine balance is required which will take time to achieve and is only achievable via hard work and rather a lot of compromise on both sides
‘What have you done for me lately?...and is the relationship yielding a profit for both of us?’...